CAM: NYC: Part II: 525, 600

When we last left our heroes they were just awaking from unsettling dreams. They were going to be late for Rent. You were going to fall off the edge of your seat it was so suspenseful. Your patience has been virtuous, so I will put you out of your misery and fill you in on whatever happened next, if I can remember that far back, it was a couple of weeks ago...
30 June 2007-Continued
1900: "Morgan! Morgan wake up! Morgan! It is seven! We slept in! Morgan!"
"Morgan! We slept in!"
"Oh, okay, yup. Zzzzzzzzz..."
"Morgan! It is seven! We have to be there in an hour!"
"Uh-huh... Zzzzzzzzz..."
"Morgan! We were supposed to get up an hour ago! We are going to be late!"
"All right... Zzzzzzz..."
"What time is it?"
"It's seven!"
1905: Leave Central Park Hostel, which is on 103rd street (not 96th or even 98th). All day working, all night on a bus, all day wandering aimlessly around a muggy New York city leaves you smelling a little better than the trash that piles up in the alleys behind Times Square, but just a little worse than death. But there was no time, we were late, JEEEEEESUS CHRRRRRRRRIST were we late! Holy Shit!
1908: Hail a cab and tell driver to get us to Rent, AND STEP ON IT!
1935: Grid-lock. After sitting for a few minutes and not moving we decided it would be much quicker if we walked/ran/staggered to the theatre, which we weren't really sure where it was. I am sure Cabbies despise the assholes who get out in a traffic jam and run away. Assholes!
1941: Turns out the Nederlander Theatre was a lot closer than we had thought. We arrive with 19 minutes to spare. We could have showered the bus and city stench that clung to us like honey and still made it in time for our dinner of Kit Kat Bars and Cokes. Ah yes, the theatre goer's life is a glamorous life indeed.2006: Curtain! Neither of us had ever seen the film version from a few years back with Rosario Dawson in the role of some American Idol runner-up who was in the show we saw. So we weren't sure of what to expect other than having our minds completely blown by the glory of Broadway. They weren't.
It wasn't terrible. A show doesn't run for a decade on Broadway if it is terrible. It was competently done, as is to be expected, at the very least. For the entirety of the first act, whilst the hoboes, bohoes, crackheads and such struggled with eviction and AIDS and love, do not forget the love, the stage might as well have been a million miles away. Not that I'd know my ass from my elbow on the topic, but I assume that musical drama is a very difficult thing to pull off, hell, musical theatre period would be a difficult thing to pull off even if you had the budget to make it rain in the theatre, or 35 eager Jr. high Lil Abners. For some reason drug overdoses, AIDS, and slum building evictions of squatters by old friends for the sake of dot-com start-ups doesn't make me want to sing, necessarily. And if it did it would be difficult to make it not come off as overly schmaltzy and contrived (which isn't really a criticism of theatre, more of a description). So this was that. On top of which, as I am sure happens in a couple of the 8 shows per week over 10 years, the performances in the first act were pretty flat and not the least bit engaging. When Roger sings the "we've got AIDS" line from his girlfriend April's Dear John Suicide note I am sure the effect the writers was going for was anything other than stifled laughter. Either the performances weren't doing justice to the material, or I am a terrible person, or both. You'll be pleased to know that the second act was much stronger, which might have something to do with the 525,600 minutes song right off the top. If the performer's performances can't grab you, perhaps something familiar will, and did, and made the second act all the better. In all it was a rather disappointing first night on Broadway. I was expecting more than good enough, so was the $106.
2332: Curtain. Applause.
2338: Exeunt.
2341: Off through the muggy New York night in search of food.
01 July 2007-Canada Day
0017: Found a deli still serving the food that had been sitting out all day.
0042: Delicious.
0120: Arrive at the south edge of Central Park and after surveying the various characters who have taken up night residence in their own version of Central Park Hostel we decide it much less frightening if we just sit on a bench on the well lit side walk near the busy street. So we do.
0142: After watching a constant string of taxis whiz by our bench for nearly 20-minutes it takes us 5-minutes to finally hail one when we decide to call it a night.
0155: Apparently for some cab drivers, or one anyway, if you say 103rd street is your desired destination when you get in the cab that does not mean he will stop there, the end of a ride means the end of the fair, so you have to yell "STOP!" or "THIS IS GOOD!" while sitting at a red light or else he'd just keep climbing.
0203: Zzzzzzzzzz... Finally.
0930: Beep... Beep... Beep... Snooze...
0939: Repeat.
0948: Repeat.
0957: Repeat.
1006: Repeat.
1015: Repeat.
1024: Repeat.
1033: Repeat.
1042: Repeat.
1051: Repeat.
1100: Repeat.
1109: Repeat.
1118: Repeat.
1127: Repeat.
1136: Repeat.
1145: Repeat.
1154: Repeat.
1203: Fine. You win. You persistent alarming sonofabitch!
1301: After very slowly dragging our bedraggled asses out of bed and finally showering the 1/4" coat of filth film off we emerge from the noxiously charming Central Park hostel new people, or at least clean people, just in time to re-submerge into the subway, which I am sure cancels any and all prior hygiene attempts.
1306: Downtown bound C train.
1327: Brooklyn bound L train. As K.H. tells me, "the L train is a swell train." Indeed it is.
1353: Set foot on the sweet sweet soil of Brooklyn. The first step of what turned into one very ridiculous day...
Do they get mugged? Do they get abducted?
Do they do anything to make our mothers proud?
Stay tuned to find out!

1. "Shop window (I don't know which shop)." New York, NY.
2. "EsSEX! House," Manhattan Skyline from roof of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, NY.
3. "Essex House," Manhattan Skyline from roof of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, NY.
4. "If you look close you can see Manhattan in my eyes," Manhattan Skyline from roof of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, NY.
5. "The Sunsets on the Last Great Empire," Empire State Building from Brooklyn, NY.
6. "Boho Chic," Manhattan as seen from Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint, Brooklyn, NY.


Anonymous said...

Major let-down. Where is Part III??????????????? What will happen????????????????

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling I'm going to have to wait 525,600 minutes until you finally finish the story of your NYC saga.